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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

kawan...


memang susah kalau nk bercerita tentang hati dan perasaan...
semuanya sangat rumit dan sukar untuk ditafsir...
tapi kadang2, terlalu senang pulak untuk difahami..
itu yang selalu buat manusia confuse dengan perasaan..malah perasaan sendiri...hingga sampai satu masa, ada perasaan yg kita sendiri x faham mcm mana dia boleh datang......kadang kala bila difikirkan dalam2 sampai boleh menitis air mata...sebab apa air mata tu menitis pun mita x tahu.....dalam sedar kita x faham, tapi subconciosly pulak, we definitely faham perasaan tu..maybe that explains the tears kot....but who knows??itu cuma tekaan saya saja....
but most of the time, itulah yang berlaku pada saya....
i dont have much of a friend that i'm really close with....
even if there is, i'll be considering only 2 people in my life..
other??semua cuma kawan biasa..kawan yg datang dan pergi...just like the wind..they come to comfort u for a while...but then they'll be gone in just for a few minutes....they will only be there temporarily.....kalau dulu saya ada 2 org that i can consider my close friends...but now saya rasa i got only one.....sbb the other one tu mungkin busy dgn kehidupan yg baru....tapi saya x salahkan sesiapa pun....mereka ada hidup mereka sendiri....
tapi, without me realizing this...i've been quite a loner compared to the past times...kalau dulu mungkin org anggap saya friendly dan sentiasa ada kawan, tapi sekarang tidak....saya lebih suka menyendiri....sebab bagi saya, lebih mudah dan tidak menyusahkan orang lain..kadang2 mmg terasa hidup saya sangat sunyi dan i think i'm quite a loser for not having quite many friends as the others but, i'm changing for a reason.....u might look at me as a very pathetic guy with no friends...but it's just the way i should live right now...saya xkan masuk campur hal urusan orang lain...dan akan uruskan hal sendiri saja...i'm tired of being cheated by those yg saya anggap kawan and family...ada kala saya rasa i can't bear this life when everything seems to be falling apart....and each time i'm blaming myself for what has happened....tapi there's always something yg stop saya dr lepaskan tanggungjawab...and then i knew..this is the thing yg saya kena bear and be responsible for what i have chosen in the first place...i'm not looking back...sbb masih lagi ada orang yg mengharapkan saya...and those people is the ones that i really care about.....and for them, i'll still holding on sampai tanggungjawab ni selesai......

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