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Monday, November 15, 2010

letting go....=) (part 7)


hey....its me again...
u wanna know something...
from the beginning, it has been very hard for me to let you go...
even now, when i'm writing this post, i still did not have the courage to let you go...
i'm still in the position of gathering my strength to get through the day without you...
and by writing this, is one of the way of me trying to gather the courage to let you go...
for me personally, being in love is not an easy thing....
once a friend has asked me before....
have you ever fall in love??
that time is when i haven't got to know you yet.....
then i answered him....
yes i did..but it was years ago....
when i was in my high school....
but after that, after the relationship end, i never had fall in love again....
i just dont know why.....
sometimes, when i see most of my friends flirting with the girls....
and then start dating..but not long after they broke up.....
the situation just encouraged me not to fall in love with anyone....
because there are times in my mind saying that falling in love is ridiculous...
there is no such thing as true love....
it's true....my mind has traveled that far for not having faith in love....
but...do you know what is the thing that changed all the horizon in my head just in a split second?
its you.....
how?
it's a difficult question to answer....
i'm not the type of guy who easily falls in love in a single first sight...
that is just not me....
even when i met you for the first time.....
the "thing" is not there yet....
i have my own mindset at that time.....
that tells me not to fall in love very easily......
and i did.......
but, when we bonded through the times.....
until now.....
you made me realize one thing.....
that i was the whole time when i said love is ridiculous....
it is definitely not....
i just spontaneously like you.......
when we were telling about each other.....
you wanna know something?
from all the people that i knew in my life along the way till now....
you are the only person that has most in common things with me....
and that makes me feel very comfortable telling everything that i want.....
and i always feel secure when i'm talking with you....
because you will listen to me and make me feel like i'm a very special person....
it is very weird...
sometimes i do think that this ridiculous....
but there is no doubt....love can sometimes be very crazy....
and that is how you actually open up a door in my heart to embrace love again.....
and that is what make you a very special person in my heart....

(to be continued)

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