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Friday, September 3, 2010

again....

u never know how happy i am when i looked and saw ur name appeared on my phone....

u never know how exited i am when i saw ur name appeared on my wall on facebook....
u never know how soothing and calm i felt when u talked to me....
u never know how powerful ur words when i t comes to making me feel better...
u never know how powerful ur smile is when it captured my heart and wiped off my tiring mind making it fresh again....

but unfortunately...all those things does not meant for me...
i can see ur glowing and nicer smile when ur with him....
even i personally believe that he is the right person for u....
and u deserve someone better than me...
but i'm glad i had the opportunity to feel this kind of feelings towards u....
even though i cant have u...but as long as i can see the smile even though it is not for me....
its good enough for me to know that u are happy....

i know exactly what my mistake is...
it's just a small matter of i never spill it out to u...
i wanna tell u but...i just dont have the courage...
i dont have enough strength to tell u the three sacred words....
but i did tell u a lot of metaphors....i know u would understand it easily...
but maybe giving metaphors is just not enough...straight forward might be a better try....
but its okay....i'll be just okay if ur okay....
i'll just have to deal that u are not meant to be with me.....
and i can live with that only by watching u are happy with ur life...
there are sayings......letting go is one way to express love....
maybe this is the only way for me to love somebody.....
"by letting go"............

but i can promise u one thing.....
this feeling will be here forever in my heart....
even though it is the way of loving u directly....
but still....it will always be here in my heart and i'll cherish it....
i'll keep it as long as i can....cause ur the one that managed to open my eyes on believing the right thing again...

u might not gonna read this.....
and u might not gonna know what is inside my heart ever....
but it s better for u not knowing this....
as u are having a very good time with him.....
good bye for now......