BLOGGER TEMPLATES - TWITTER BACKGROUNDS »

Thursday, November 18, 2010

letting go....=) (part8)


hey...it's me again...
just yesterday, we had or conversation on facebook...
i wrote on your wall...you wrote on my wall....
and it goes back and forth util you felt sleepy.....
during our wall to wall conversation.....i did noticed something...
you are acting quite different yesterday night...
and you said the same thing to me...
but you noticed it first.....you said it's not you were having the conversation with me....
then i confused and i asked....why??
but you prefer not to tell me.....during the conversation i can feel that you have something to tell me but you were keeping it to yourself.....i dont know why....
maybe you think this is just not the right time....
but the, not long after, i got a message on my phone...
and you said something that i've said to you before....
that is...
"certain things are better left to be untold..."
i understand that.....
but i still left confused that night.....
after you left our conversation, i cant stop wondering on what actually are you hiding from me..
i just cant help it....
i really wan to know the thing that you want to say....
but as you said....i'll just keep waiting until the right time for me to know comes....
till then, i'll just have to wait patiently....
then, just early today....
i saw your status update on your facebook....
it was really sweet and if it not intended for me, it's okay....
i'll perfectly understand....
it sounds like this....
"if you're alone, i will be your shadow. if you want to cry, i will be your shoulder. if you want a hug, i will be your pillow. and if you need to be happy, i will be your smile..."
this quote brings a lot of meaning in my interpretation...
i guess, the person who intended with this quote will definitely happy if gets it....
and i;ll be happy to look from afar....
do you want to know something??
all this while....i actually realized that both of us does have a very strong barrier....
and i do think that is because of your deep feelings toward the one that you really love....
our conversation and communication only restricted to few platforms.....
we only did communicate mostly through facebook....
and that is it.....
unlike the other person....i'm actually a little bit jealous....
but then, i think i'll just have to take it positively....
from what i see.....
both of you are intimate online and offline....
if you guys are not on facebook, you guys keep texting each other.....
frequent phone calls.....even when you guys meet up....
both of you got a lot of things to talk about.....
but things are different when i actually meet you face to face.....
i'll be completely quiet and numb....
i maybe seems loud when we're not face to face but in reality.....
i'm just very afraid that you might read my feelings towards you....
but since yesterday you once said you knew me very well already....
i guess..there is no point of me hiding this feeling anymore......
but i still do think that i still dont have the courage to be clear with you yet....
since you were having a very good time with him......
just a a few minutes ago....
i opened up your page on facebook....
and i saw your conversation with him.....
and at that point.....i knew something....
that i will never match him to win your heart.....
it's true.....
and i'll be okay with it.....

Monday, November 15, 2010

letting go....=) (part 7)


hey....its me again...
u wanna know something...
from the beginning, it has been very hard for me to let you go...
even now, when i'm writing this post, i still did not have the courage to let you go...
i'm still in the position of gathering my strength to get through the day without you...
and by writing this, is one of the way of me trying to gather the courage to let you go...
for me personally, being in love is not an easy thing....
once a friend has asked me before....
have you ever fall in love??
that time is when i haven't got to know you yet.....
then i answered him....
yes i did..but it was years ago....
when i was in my high school....
but after that, after the relationship end, i never had fall in love again....
i just dont know why.....
sometimes, when i see most of my friends flirting with the girls....
and then start dating..but not long after they broke up.....
the situation just encouraged me not to fall in love with anyone....
because there are times in my mind saying that falling in love is ridiculous...
there is no such thing as true love....
it's true....my mind has traveled that far for not having faith in love....
but...do you know what is the thing that changed all the horizon in my head just in a split second?
its you.....
how?
it's a difficult question to answer....
i'm not the type of guy who easily falls in love in a single first sight...
that is just not me....
even when i met you for the first time.....
the "thing" is not there yet....
i have my own mindset at that time.....
that tells me not to fall in love very easily......
and i did.......
but, when we bonded through the times.....
until now.....
you made me realize one thing.....
that i was the whole time when i said love is ridiculous....
it is definitely not....
i just spontaneously like you.......
when we were telling about each other.....
you wanna know something?
from all the people that i knew in my life along the way till now....
you are the only person that has most in common things with me....
and that makes me feel very comfortable telling everything that i want.....
and i always feel secure when i'm talking with you....
because you will listen to me and make me feel like i'm a very special person....
it is very weird...
sometimes i do think that this ridiculous....
but there is no doubt....love can sometimes be very crazy....
and that is how you actually open up a door in my heart to embrace love again.....
and that is what make you a very special person in my heart....

(to be continued)

Saturday, November 13, 2010

letting go....=) (part 6)


hey...its me again....
just when i finished writing the previous post, all of a sudden i remembered something..
before you get to sleep just now, you did texted me with a very sweet words in it..
it was like this..

"hello.saya dah off.ngantuk.btw, u did made me laugh mr, flu red ranger.haha.u have to sleep la okay it's not too long to wait until morning.good night..."

it was a very short text but i'm really glad that you texted me before you sleep....
it means a lot to me as a person that loves you with all my heart...
i did smiled after i read the sms.....
then i replied it....

"hehe.nyte2 ****.it's okay.i'm used to it.have a nice sleep k,sweet dreams.sleep tide"

that is the only words that i can text you. i really wish that i can text you more that the words that i gave because literally, the text that i would rather give is like this...

"that's okay, u dont have to worry about me.as long as ur still smiling, not even a biggest disaster will torn my feelings.ur smile is what keeping me alive.have a nice and warm sleep.have a very good night and sweet dreams u little doll of my heart.i love u so much and will never stop loving u....:)"

but, the text above will only remains a dream for me because the chance is not there for me to grab anymore.but as long as you will still be there with a smile around your face, it will always give me strength to live my life better...

since i knew from the very first time that you were into him...
it would lying if i tell you that my heart was not torn apart...
i did...my heart was crushed into pieces...
but i know for myself....
that cannot let myself demoralized.....
looking at you being happy with somebody else is not the end of the word...
and also...it will definitely not the end of my feelings towards you...
seeing you living happily, is one of my life's aim.....
even though it will not be with me....
but looking you from far away with your smile still living.....
is enough to satisfy me......
i am eager to seek for your laugh...
intimidated to make your smiles to be mine...
curious for wanting to know you more...
and dying to have you in my arms at the end of the day.....
but if you've made up your mind.....
there is nothing left i got to say.....

(to be continued)

letting go....=) (part 5)


hey you....
i just noticed something on your facebook page...
you've changed your profile picture..
at first i did not bother to notice but...
when i took a closer look, it was the image of someone we both familiar with....
i thought you were just taking random korean guys picture to put on as your default pic....but...
it is not just a random pic...
that guy on your profile pic is one of the character in the korean drama that both like...
his name in the drama was shin woo...
its funny to suddenly have all this tingling in my heart just when i watched your profile pic...
i just dont know why....
but then i figured it out....
it's because we both share the same feelings in this drama...
it's funny....and for me, on the same time it's sad....
and for that sad feelings, here i am writing this fifth piece of my writing about us...
and to let u go.......

it's been a while that i haven't watch any korean movies or drama....
before i knew you, i never have any interest to watch korean series...
the first series that you introduced to me was a drama entitled "I'M SORRY I LOVE YOU"
the first thing that you told me about the series is that one of the character has the same face like me...even he matched some of my characteristics...
his name was yoon...u told me to keep this as our secret...and dont ever tell anybody that u have ever siad that i look like yoon...
at first, i was speechless and dazzled....also confused..
starting from that day, you keep calling me yoon for several times....
and i cant stand but to smile every time u called me with that name....
i took a look at the real actor of the series and he definitely way more handsome and cute than i am...but...to have the words came from u...
i'll take it as compliment even this will make me like "perasan sorang sorang"...hahaha...
but i dont care as long as you are the one who said that....
starting from that point...i'm a little bit interested in the korean series...
i watched a movie called MILLIONAIRE'S FIRST LOVE..
i never knew why...this maybe quite embarrassing to tell but....
i cried at some part of the movie....
and that is when i really realized something...
you have brought a very big influence to me....
and that is a very good thing.....

(to be continued)

Thursday, November 11, 2010

letting go....=) (part 4)


do you want to know something?
every night when i dont sleep, i will always have the time to think about you..
for example..last night...
i cant stop thinking about how sweet you are..
and how predictable you are when we were talking on screen or off screen...
and not to forget...
how predictable i am when i'm in front you...
sometimes i do wonder...from where does all this chemistry comes from??
i only knew you for more than a year...
but i knew so much about you already...
you admitted that we were friends all the way...
there are actually so many times you considered us as friends...
even i noticed that every time i tried to be clear with you that i'm in love with you...
but still...when ever i come to the situation of trying to be all clear with you...
you will always try to avoid that kind of conversation with me....
you will actually tries to change the subject and refuse to talk more than a friends...
even though indirectly i do felt the intimacy between us...
frequently....but i know....
you were doing that for a reason...
it is because you have somebody else that comforts you more...
somebody that can take care of you more than i can...
somebody that you like.....and maybe love...more than me...
but you dont worry....
i'll always be happy if you were happy....
all this while...i do notice that you were happier with him...
your smile were brighter...
and it does make me realize...
you are having a very good time when you were with him....
maybe those who see this kind of situation would actually ask me to go chasing you....
before he capture your heart first....
but i have my own principle in love......
i have a different way of loving person with all my heart....
for me....
when i love someone....
i want them to be happy all the way of their life...
no matter what it takes....
even if it's not with me.....
when i saw in your eyes.....
how happy you are with him.....
it made me realize something.....
if i want you to be happy all the way......
is by letting you go and be with the one that can really make u happy more than i do....
and there i see the person.....
it might not be easy for me.....
but for you....i will do everything to ensure you have those happy and cute face all the way along your life.....
yes...i do love you....
and i want to spend the rest of my life with you....
but, if you can be happier with other person, i guess that is the option that i should choose....
in order for you to have those bright smiles all the way....

"your smiles means more than anything to me. yes, i do make you smile but those those smile you were having when you were with him are brighter than when you were with me. i'm letting you go because i know you love him more than you love me. and i do believe he can always make your day and be there with you....."

but for me.....even though i'm letting you go.....
it will never be an end for me loving you....
we have sweet memories together....
and those memories will always be here inside my mind.....
and also....the warmth and comfort that i can give you....
is always available.....
for u.....i'll do everything.....

(to be continued)

letting go....=) (part 3)


here i am again tonight...
writing this story about how i'm trying to let you go with all my heart...
all these while... i think it will be very easy...
but only by saying it...it is easy...but to do it....
i really having difficulties and struggling to do it...
but no matter what i'll try.....
because it's clear to me that you deserve somebody better than me...
somebody that can really open up your heart....
just now we were chatting.... even though it was just on the screen of my YOSHIMI...
but the connection i felt is like we're having an eye to eye conversation...
when i saw you online on facebook late this night...
i told you to go to sleep...tomorrow you got an exam to answer...
but not long after i wrote that on your wall....
my chatbox popped your name out....
it's undeniable that i have smiled hundreds of time and laughed a lot...
just because you were talking to me with all the funny and sweet words u wrote on the chatbox....
because it was already late, i told you to sleep early....
but you dont listen and beg me to give you permission to sleep later....
even though you know.....that i have no right and control to ask you to sleep...
but you did ask me anyway....
it was nothing much on the screen that we talked about....
all the time i was telling u to sleep early and you refused...
you told me that i also slept late during my paper....
it is very funny.... but i got you by saying that i already have enough sleep on the day..
but you're not....only then you agreed to sleep at 3am....
but that was after bargaining...you should actually sleep at 2.30am...
but u did not....and i told it's okay for this time.....
actually, from the first word that u send to me until the last word....
i just couldn't stop smiling.....
we were actually laughing at each other.....
for non stop doing "typo"
but you're the one with the highest rate of typo tonight....
you also get a little angry because i cannot stop laughing and making fun of your typo...
till you said that you want to stuff plastic bag into my mouth if i cannot stop laughing....
you just said that you still know i was laughing even though u cannot see me now...
but it'd true....i really am laughing....
i just did not the "hahaha" word on the screen but i did laugh out my heart tonight.....
yes you were a little bit angry...but in the cute little version of you...
thinking of your angry face is actually making me feel you are a very special person...
i cannot imagine how will your face be if you were making your angry face....
i just thinking of hoe adorable your face be when you were sticking out your tongue while writing "wek" on my screen....
but then...we stopped chatting for a while...
because you need to read your notes....
so i just let you....
not long after.....an IM popped out on my screen....
its you again....you said you've just brushed your teeth....
the i know...that you were going to sleep afterwards......
also today......you dont forget to ask me how is my condition....
do i still sick?do i still have flu?
and yes...i still haven't recovered from my flu....
and you keep reminding to take my medicine.....
dont worry....i will....
all this while, it;s actually getting harder to let you go....
day by day, i felt the affection you is actually giving me much more encouragement to get you...
but dont worry....i'll find my way....
(to be continued)


Tuesday, November 9, 2010

letting go....=) (part 2)


as we arrived at the bank of the lake...
me and other 2 of your best friend sit there together while you went back to your to take KAORU...
your cute pink laptop... it was not very long till you came back with you pink backpack behind you..
walking along the way....i dont know why....
i just cant stop staring at you walking towards us also....with cute SMILE on your face...
as you arrived just at us, you sit beside me and started to open up you KAORU to transfer my storyboard in to it... i really cant stop staring at you but because you have you friends there too so i cant stare at you too much or i will be caught by them...
looking at KAORU, all of a sudden i remembered how that cute pink lappy got it's name...
it was me who gave the name KAORU to your laptop...
at that time, we were chatting about this japanese series that i have been watching...
the name of the series was LOVE SHUFFLE...
i told u that i love the series very much and tell you about the story....
you were very interested to watch the series too and at the end of the chat, i promised you to give the series for you to watch.....
inspired by the series, we then decided to start shuffling the name of our laptop....
you are the first one to give a name for my white laptop...
you came up with a name called YOSHIMI which means "to rejoice in beauty" in japanese.....while i came u with a name of KAORU which means "fragant" in japanese for your pink laptop.....
and then, i was very happy to hear that you actually love the name that i gave to your laptop.....again...my face was filled with a smile...
i dont know why...but the memory of giving each other's laptop a name...
has made a very good and sweet memory for me.....
and...at the moment i said the word "KAORU"
in front of you... again u came up with a smile...
i dont know...i just cant get tired of looking at your smile...
it was a very good feeling for me to see your smile and i will never get bored of looking at it for the rest of my life......
and starting from that...i never expected that you have actually open up my heart for you.... but until now, i have never spill my feeling towards you....
it's not because i'm scared....
i'ts just because i know....your heart will never be mine....
as somebody else has taken your heart earlier before me...

(to be continued)

letting go....=) (part 1)


just today, i met you...
u were with one of your best friend...
we promised earlier to meet, just for me to give my storyboard to you...
because one of your best friend@my beloved little sister is very eager to watch it...
so, i just went to the alley full with people without noticing that i have walked passed you...
you noticed at the first place and called for me...with a little cute smile on your face...
the smile really does cheer me up for the day...even though it was only a little glimpse...
well that's okay..because i know....u did smiled because u see me in the first place...
again i cheered up that day...
when i first talked to you earlier...then u noticed... that i haven't recovered from my flu...
then u said..."awak still selsema lagi.." again with a smile on your face....
and also again...my heart cheered up....
then we walked along by the alley together...then u stopped because you forget to wait for your friend...again i smiled....looking at you face also with a very cute smile....
i just cant help my self....to be very entertained and flattered looking at your smile....
for all this while, i then realized...that you are the only person that can make me smile with the slightest effort you can make....
you dont have to say any funny thing...
you dont have to do any silly acts...
and u dont even have to tickle me all the way...
just enough with a very slight and simple smile from you....
can easily burst a sincere smile from my face...
and that one thing that everyone cannot make other than u....
it's just very amazing...
to realized that a glimpse of smile from a person can make my heart flatter as i'm the happiest person on earth...and that is one of the reason i like you...even better...LOVE YOU...
as we walked along the alley.... you did stopped a few times to buy some food...
as you reached the end of the alley, you met another one of your best friend...
while you were talking to her...i left you with her and to buy myself some foods....
then i went to the end of the alley again and saw you were actually waiting for me...
i never thought that you would wait for me...then i just walked with you along the way to find a place to eat.....
we stopped by the bank of the lake.....
the same place when i did make a fool of myself catching fishes with a drinking cup a few weeks past... but still you joined me...
again...i smiled remembering that event on my mind....

(to be continued....)


Friday, November 5, 2010

love is when.....

Love is when...
you can't stop thinking bout them
when u see them or hear their name
your whole world lights up
when they smile u smile
when they laugh
you laugh
when they cry
you cry
you feel what they feel
when they never leave your mind
when u go to sleep smiling because
of something they said or did earlier that day
when you look at them
everything turns right
when you touch them
u get that feeling
what is love...
love is all of the above.

i love you.....

i love you because i know you're always there to catch me when i fall, there to listen when i need you, and there when i feel alone....
its true...
but if only i have the guts to spill this out to you.....
things would have been much better....

Monday, November 1, 2010

honesty....

ever had any friend that u consider as ur very best friend and u would do everything just for them no matter what??
if u have one, what would u feel if they actually can lie straight to ur face and pretending that there is nothing happened??
pissed off rite??but for me...i'm sad....
i'm sad because they just dont get what is the meaning of friendship at all.....
i got a lot of usual friends...i mean really?? a lot of them....
but when i consider them my best friend....it has some differences between all the other friends!!
it means...i trust them more...i tell them more....i share with them more...and i love them more...
in other words...they just have extra on everything that i give to any other friends...but if its only me considering all the things...where will it all goes??
its not much that i ask for my best friend....
just honesty....i dont mind if u lie to me...but the...u have to tell me what u did...
if u really know me....i'm not that much of a hot tempered person....it will just take seconds till i got my crazy mood again....but....when u lie and then u just keep lying....
that's it.....like i said before...i'm not angry...i'm just sad.....
i'm sorry for being sensitive...but that is me.....
what me sad the most is.....when they keep asking what had they done wrong over and over again...is it so hard to recall back the things that u did behind my back??
its dissapointing....
yes!!i do consider u as my best friend before.....
but now....i guess maybe i'm not worth to be ur friend....
thanks a lot....
i know what do i have to do next....

Friday, October 29, 2010

the necklace....

today sucks!!
i'm hungry!!somebody took my books!!
i'm alone!!i'm miserable!!
pretending to look okay!!and worst!!
somebody lost my necklace!!shit!!!!
yeah!!!i'm angry!!!and at the same time....i'm sad!!!
it was all about the necklace!!
i know....the necklace is not that expensive...it might not worth a million in number...
it is also not that beautiful compared to other necklace...but it means a lot to me!!
it hat it's own sentimental value...and i really appreciate it so very much!!!
because i said it brings so much to me, that's why i keep it inside my bag and i'm not wearing because i'm afraid i might lose it....but everything changed when this guy actually found this necklace.....but..i was not really reluctant to lend this necklace to him as i trust him...so i lend him the necklace because he asked for it....but..i did remind him to take care of it really good....i trust him cuz he was one of my good friend but now i doubt whether he can still be my good friend after this....i thought he would really take a very good care of the necklace.....unfortunately..he dont....just today...he told me he lost the necklace without any guilt!!!
damn it!!!it really does pissed me off!!
he thought i would buy his story that he lost the necklace....
but actually i know the necklace is still there...just not in his hand....
i saw it before....but still he thinks i dont know about it.....
fuck it!!!!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

secret admirer!!!!!=)

hello!!!!
guess what!!i just get to know that i have a secret admirer!!
hahaha...i know it's sound weird...
who would ever like this hideous me rite??
hahaha...just kidding....i just knew about it yesterday....
hey!!!what actually am i talking about??
i'm supposed to study for my final exam....hahaha...
bel311...settle already.....coming up this saturday!!!
its ctu...byk btol nak kne bace!!but....what have to be done...
still have to be done rite!!!gonna pulun all these papers out for this final!!!
huhuhu....hey...i just got one hillarious story to tell...
wanna know what time do i got up today???
its 3.30pm!!!hahahaha...
i dont even take my shower yet!!!
ngeh3......but...i got my own reason kay...hehe...
i dont know...this coming few day, lendu has been very cold and its making me very comfortable to sleep for a very long time!!!
hehehe....so that is my reason!!!
hahaha...:D
okay!!!enough blogging!!
wanna take my shower already!!!
hahaha...:D

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

exam weeks!!!

hey there!!!!
exam week has finally come and esok is the first paper....
what subject??...BEL311 or english for academic purposes....
it kinda frantic situation looking at sumer org kat level is actually revising on how to do in text citation and references....hahahaha...even ader yg tension giler...hahaha...
relax babe...it's gonna be all good for tomorrow..hahaha...
just trying to act cool la konon padahal cuak jugak nak jawab paper sok...ngeh3...
but on top of that...i think i'm ready kot....just hope for the best je lah..hehe..
for those who's actually reading this...wish me luck kayh!!!!=)

and also not to forget....gud luck for everybody whose taking their exams....
do ur best...especially for all my friends!!!
gonna make these upcoming exam weeks with smiles and laughters....
no tension2 kayh!!!hehehe...
gud luck u guys!!!
=)

Monday, October 25, 2010

law student....=)


while browsing around the internet and keeping in touch with my facebook page, all of a sudden, an old of mine, azriz told me to take a peak on a website....he said there were a picture of me on it.....
so, i took a quick look on the website and surprisingly found an image of me while i'm still a law student.....wanna see the pic??
here it is......

looking at the picture brings back a lot of memories of being a law student at msu....
there are actually tonnes of wonderful experiences even though it it just for a short while for me.....
when i started studying here in uitm, there are some students thought that i did not finish my study in msu and start over a new course here in malacca but that is obviously not true....
i did finished my study there and have my certificate in foundation in law.....which make me eligible to pursue a degree in law anytime that i want but.....mass communication sure is a field of interest for me....=)
but yeah....let me tell me u my experience as a law student....
being a law student is fun..there is nothing boring about being a law student...
it is actually a whole new experience of exploring the law and manipulating it to your own benefits..hahaha...did i made the sentence look wicked and cunning??if it is....that is my point of view..hahaha...
good thing about being a law student is that we get to know our rights in law that we never knew before.....there are a lot of debates, acts, facts, theories, and cases to remember....but everything is so exciting and will make u to learn more on what is your rights.....not even that, law also has taught me the exact system to be followed by each and every one based on the common law....as we may know, law is the rules and regulation that we have to follow (in general)..so it did taught me on observing what should we do and we should not....thus, during my observation, there are actually a lot of people especially those "above" us violating it.....giving me a much broader perspective on what kind of person they are......the application of this knowledge of law really made us aware of how people doing things right or wrong....and what's fun of learning it is....
knowing the fact that...u can sue anybody with any reason in law of tort...
hahaha...

Sunday, October 24, 2010

update!!!

it's been a while since i ever visited this blog.....
my very own blog!!hahahaha....
been very occupied, busy and so many things to do recently...
but that's just an excuse for me not to write in this blog...
the truth is...i actually dont have the idea on what to write...ngeh3...=p
but....since yesterday night, i actually have lots in my mind to express....
just wait my next entry...=p
but for now...lets talk about few of my friends that has just started to write in blogs...
they are actually the one that i have never thought that will create blog but however...because they have been pushed by the boredom of staying inside the room, they actually have their own blog right now!!!hahahaha.....
but hey!!that is not really the subject that i'm writing right now!!
what am i trying to write actually??
actually...tonight also i dont have any idea to write lah!!!hahaha...
just trying to make myself busy writing entries cuz i'm to lazy to study for my finals!!
hahahaha....but....it's better than doing nothing...btol x??=p
okay...let us see...
what am i doing now while i'm writing the entry for my blog??
i'm actually doing this while listening to maher zain songs from my roommate's laptop...
do u know who he is??its fatin annuar aka sani....is u want to know him better, just try to visit his blog.... its annuarkhir.blogspot.com.....just created it yesterday night...due to boredom inside the room..hahaha...
it's kind of surprising to see he suddenly likes to listen to maher zain songs....he even post his new ontry for his blog about this maher zain...it's undeniable that allmaher zain's songs are all amazing but the fact that sani is actually listening to them is even more amazing fact!!!
hahaha.....but however...i'm happy for him for discovering the right path after having his life lost i a very long period!hahaha....
just kidding sani...saje nak cari point tulis dlm blog la....hahaha...
hurm....cukup kot update blog malam ni...
i'll post a new entry tomorrow plak...
hahaha....till then....thanks for reading...=)

Friday, September 3, 2010

again....

u never know how happy i am when i looked and saw ur name appeared on my phone....

u never know how exited i am when i saw ur name appeared on my wall on facebook....
u never know how soothing and calm i felt when u talked to me....
u never know how powerful ur words when i t comes to making me feel better...
u never know how powerful ur smile is when it captured my heart and wiped off my tiring mind making it fresh again....

but unfortunately...all those things does not meant for me...
i can see ur glowing and nicer smile when ur with him....
even i personally believe that he is the right person for u....
and u deserve someone better than me...
but i'm glad i had the opportunity to feel this kind of feelings towards u....
even though i cant have u...but as long as i can see the smile even though it is not for me....
its good enough for me to know that u are happy....

i know exactly what my mistake is...
it's just a small matter of i never spill it out to u...
i wanna tell u but...i just dont have the courage...
i dont have enough strength to tell u the three sacred words....
but i did tell u a lot of metaphors....i know u would understand it easily...
but maybe giving metaphors is just not enough...straight forward might be a better try....
but its okay....i'll be just okay if ur okay....
i'll just have to deal that u are not meant to be with me.....
and i can live with that only by watching u are happy with ur life...
there are sayings......letting go is one way to express love....
maybe this is the only way for me to love somebody.....
"by letting go"............

but i can promise u one thing.....
this feeling will be here forever in my heart....
even though it is the way of loving u directly....
but still....it will always be here in my heart and i'll cherish it....
i'll keep it as long as i can....cause ur the one that managed to open my eyes on believing the right thing again...

u might not gonna read this.....
and u might not gonna know what is inside my heart ever....
but it s better for u not knowing this....
as u are having a very good time with him.....
good bye for now......


Tuesday, August 24, 2010

i miss u!!!!! =(

sometimes.....life isn't easy at all....

sometimes, when i'm here alone, i wish just for a precious moment that i wasn't here instead was there so i could give a great big hug......
"there comes a point in your life, when u realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore and who always will. so don't worry about people from your past, there is a reason why they didn't make it to your future."

but that can be freaking hard. my mind tells me to give up.... but mt heart won't let me...
and though, it hurts more to move on... i know it should be for the very best, but it kills me to wonder what could have been, and even worse, what should have been...

i don't understand how we could click so fast and so good but yet we aren't together. i just want once for something to work for me...i found someone i really like and yet i can't be with that person..
why??

i wish i had the guts to walk away and forget about what we had... but i can't... because i know u won't come after me..

"don't ever give up if you still want to try, don't ever wipe your tears if you still want to cry. don't ever settle for an answer if you still want to know. don't ever say you don't love this person if you can't let this person go..."

i'm over you, but there are days when everything comes back...

"you'll never find the right one if you never let go the wrong one..."

sometimes i like to pretend that everything's alright because when everybody else thinks you are fine, you forget for a while that you're not...

"love....its like the lightning, u get struck once and baby, it kills..."

sometimes we just don't realize how much we care for someone until they stop caring about us, if everything happens for a reason, what's the reason behind this??

yes i can be happy and yes i can laugh but something's missing in my life.. and i can't get up....

i always wanted to make you happy and the part that hurts me the worst is that i don't even remember what your laugh sounds like...

i try to move on. i try to do something else but no matter what i do...i think of you...

"a broken heart is like broken mirror. it is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it..."

i miss u...........
and there's nothing left to say........


Sunday, August 22, 2010

kenapa yahudi bijak???

Setelah berada 3 tahun di Israel kerana menjalani housemanship dibeberapa hospital disana, ada beberapa perkara yang menarik dapat saya perhatikan untuk dijadikan tesis ini, iaitu "Mengapa Yahudi Bijak?". Memang tidak dapat dinafikan ramai cendikiawan berbangsa Yahudi, dari segala bidang, Engineering, musik, saintis dan yang paling hebat ialah bidang perniagaan, dimana ia memang paling tersohor. Hampir 70% perniagaan di dunia dikuasai oleh kaum Yahudi, dari kosmetik, pakaian, pemakanan, senjata, perhotelan, perfileman di Hollywood dan sebagainya.

Ketika tahun kedua, akhir bulan December 1980 dan sedang saya menghitung hari untuk pulang ke California saya terfikir apakah sebabnya kaum Yahudi begitu pintar? Kenapa tuhan memberi kelebihan kepada mereka? Apakah ini suatu kebetulan? Atau olah manusia sendiri? Adakah bijak boleh dijana? Seperti kilang pengeluaran? Maka saya pon tergerak membuat tesis untuk Phd saya, disamping kebaikan untuk umat sejagat dan dapat hidup secara harmoni. Untuk pengetahuan anda tesis yang saya lakukan ini mengambil masa hampir lapan tahun, ini kerana untuk mengumpulkan data-data yang setepat mungkin. Antara data-data yang saya kumpulkan ialah pemakanan, adat resam, ugama, persiapan awal untuk melahirkan zuriat dan sebagainya dan data data tadi saya cuba bandingkan dengan bangsa dan kaum kaum lain.

Marilah kita mulakan dengan persiapan awal melahirkan zuriat. Di Israel, setelah mengetahui yang sang ibu sedang mengandung, pertama kali saya perhatikan ialah, sang ibu akan sering menyanyi dan bermain piano dan si ibu dan bapa akan membeli buku metamatik dan menyelesaikan masalah metamatik bersama suami, saya sungguh hairan kerana teman saya yang mengandung sering membawa buku metamatik dan bertanya kepada saya beberapa soalan yang beliau tak dapat menyelesaikanya, oleh kerana saya memang minat tentang metamatik, tentu saja dengan senang saya bantu beliau. Saya bertanya kepada beliau, adakah ini untuk anak kamu? Beliau menjawab, "ia, ini untuk anak saya yang masih didalam kandungan, saya sedang melatih otak beliau, semuga ia menjadi genius apabila dewasa kelak" Perkara ini membuat saya tertarik untuk mengikut perkembangan beliau seterusnya. Berbalik kepada metamatik tadi, tanpa merasa jenoh beliau membuat latihan metamatik sehingga beliau melahirkan anak.

Seperkara lagi yang saya perhatikan ialah pemakanan beliau, sejak awal mengandung beliau gemar sekali memakan kacang badam dan korma bersama susu, dan untuk tengah hari makan utama beliau ialah roti dan ikan tanpa kepala bersama salad yang digaul dengan badam dan berbagai jenis kekacang, menurut beliau daging ikan sungguh baik untuk perkembangan otak dan kepala ikan mengandungi kimia yang tidak baik yang dapat merosakkan pengembangan dan penumbuhan otak anak didalam kandungan. menurut beliau ini adalah adat orang orang yahudi ketika mengandung dan ianya menjadi semacam kewajipan untuk ibu ibu yang sedang mengandung mengambil pil minyak ikan.

Ketika saya diundang untuk makan malam bersama orang orang Yahudi, perkara pertama yang saya perhatikan ialah menu mereka.. Setiap undangan yg sama perhatikan ialah mereka gemar sekali memakan ikan (hanya isi atau fillet) dan biasanya daging tidak akan ada bersama dimeja jika ada ikan, menurut mereka, campuran daging dan ikan tak elok dimakan bersama. Salad dan kacang adalah suatu kemestian, terutama badam.

Seperkara yang pelik ialah mereka akan memakan buah buahan dahulu sebelum memakan hidangan utama. Jangan terperanjat jika anda diundang kerumah Yahudi anda akan dihidangkan buah buahan dahulu. Menurut mereka, dengan memakan hidangan kabohidrat (nasi atau roti) dahulu kemudian buah buahan, ini akan menyebabkan kita merasa ngantuk dan lemah dan payah untuk memahami pelajaran disekolah.

Di Israel, merokok adalah taboo, apabila anda diundang makan dirumah Yahudi, jangan sekali kali merokok, dan tanpa malu mereka akan menyuruh anda keluar dari rumah mereka dam merokok diluar rumah mereka. Menurut saintis di Universiti Israel , siasatan menunjukkan nikotin dapat merosakkan sel utama pada otak manusia dan akan melekat pada genes, ini bermakna keturunan perokok bakal membawa generasi yg cacat otak ( bodoh atau lembab). Suatu penemuan yg dahsyat ditemui oleh saintis yg mendalami bidang genes dan DNA. Para perokok harap ambil perhatian. (Ironi nya, pemilik pengeluar rokok terbesar adalah ...... tekalah sendiri..!)

Perhatian saya selanjutnya ialah melawati tadika mereka, Pemakanan anak anak tadi cukup dikawal, makanan awal ialah buah buahan bersama kacang badam, diikuti dengan menelan pil minyak ikan (code oil lever) Didalam pengamatan saya, kanak Yahudi sungguh bijak dan rata rata mereka memahami 3 bahasa iaitu Hebrew, Arab dan Inggeris dan sedari awal lagi mereka telah dilatih bermain piano dan violin, ini adalah suatu kewajipan. Menurut mereka bermain musik dan memahami nota notanya dapat meningkatkan lagi IQ kanak kanak dan sudah tentu bakal menjadikan budak itu bijak. Ini menurut saintis Yahudi, gegaran musik dapat stimulate (semacam senaman untuk otak) maka itu terdapat ramai sekali genius musik terdiri dari kaum Yahudi.

Seterusnya ke darjah 1 hingga 6, anak anak Yahudi akan diajar matematik berkonsepkan perniagaan dan pelajaran sains amatlah diberi keutamaan. Di dalam perhatian peribadi saya, perbandingan dengan anak anak di California, ianya jauh berbeza tentang IQ dan boleh saya katakan 6 tahun kebelakang!! !. Segala pelajaran akan dengan mudah di tangkap oleh anak Yahudi. Selain dari pelajaran tadi sukan juga menjadi kewajipan bagi mereka dan sukan yg diberi keutamaan ialah memanah, menembak dan berlari, menurut teman saya ini, memanah dan menembak dapat melatih otak mem fokus sesuatu perkara disamping mempermudahkan persiapan untuk perhidmatan negara.

Selanjutnya pemerhatian saya menuju ke sekolah tinggi (menengah) di sini murid-murid ditekan dengan pelajaran sains dan mereka digalakkan mencipta produk. Segala projek mereka walaupon kadangkala kelihatannya lucu dan mengarut, tetap diteliti dengan serius apatah lagi ianya berupa senjata, perubatan dan engineering, idea itu akan dibawa ke institute tinggi di Politeknik dan Universiti.

Satu lagi yang diberi keutamaan ialah fakulti perniagaan. Saya sungguh terperanjat melihat mereka begitu agresif dan seriusnya mereka tentang perniagaan. Di akhir tahun di universiti, para penuntut dibidang niaga dikehendaki melakukan projek dan mempraktikkannya dan anda hanya akan lulus jika kumpulan anda (10 pelajar setiap kumpulan) dapat keuntungan sebanyak $US1juta! Anda terperanjat? Itulah kenyataan, dengan rangkaian seluruh dunia dan ditaja sepenuhnya oleh syarikat milik Yahudi, maka tidak hairanlah mereka dapat menguasai ½ perniagaan didunia! Siapakah yg mencipta design Levis yg terkini? Ianya dicipta di Universiti Israel oleh fakulti bisnes dan fesyen.

Pernahkah anda melihat cara orang Yahudi melakukan ibadah mereka? Salah satu caranya ialah dengan menggoyangkan kepala mereka, menurut mereka ini dapat mengaktifkan otak mereka dan menambahkan oksijan dikepala, banyak ugama lain di Timur Tengah, seperti Islam juga ada menyuruh umatnya menunduk atau menggoyangkan kepala, ini guna dapat mensimulasikan otak kita supaya bertambah aktif. Lihat orang orang Jepun, mereka sering menunduk-nundukkan kepala dan ianya sebagai adat. Ramai orang orang Jepun yg pandai? Adakah ianya sebagai kebetulan? Kegemaran mereka ialah sushi (ikan mentah). Adakah ini kebetulan? Fikirkanlah!

pameran seni di spanyol
dgn berani mmenzahirkan penghinaan
sbg bukti islam semakin lemah.
xkira dari pucuk pimpinan hingga ke orang bwahan

Berpusat di New York, Dewan Perniagaan Yahudi bersedia membantu mereka yg berminat untuk melakukan bisnes (sudah tentu untuk Yahudi sahaja). Jika mereka ada idea yg bernas, jawatan kuasa akan memberi pinjaman tanpa faedah dan pentadbir dari jawatan kuasa tadi akan bekerjasama dengan anda untuk memastikan yg perniagaan mereka menurut landasan yg betul. Maka itu lahirlah Starbuck, Dell, Coca cola, DKNY, Oracle, Perfileman di Hollywood, Levis, Dunkin Donut dan ada beratus kedai ternama dibawah naungan dewan perniagaan Yahudi di New York. Graduan Yahudi dari fakulti perubatan New York akan disarankan untuk mendaftar dipersatuan ini dan digalakkan memulakan klinik mereka sendiri dengan bantuan wang tanpa faedah. Barulah saya tahu mengapa hospital di New York dan California sentiasa kekurangan doktor pakar.

Kesimpulanya, pada teori saya, melahirkan anak dan keturunan yg bijak boleh dilaksanakan dan tentunya bukan semalaman, ianya memerlukan masa, beberapa generasi mungkin? Persiapan awal adalah ketika sang ibu mengandung, galakkanlah si ibu melakukan latihan matematik yg mudah tetapi konsisten di samping mendengar musik klasik (bagi umat Islam lebih baik diperdengarkan bacaan ayat suci Al-Quran - admin). Seterusnya ubahlah cara pemakanan, makanlah makanan yg elok dan berkhasiat yg baik untuk otak, menghayati musik sejak kecil adalah baik sekali untuk pertumbuhan otak kanak kanak, dengan bermain piano dan violin sudah tentu dapat melatih anak anak mencerdaskan otak mereka. Demikian juga sukan yg memerlukan kosentrasi yg tinggi, seperti memanah, bola keranjang, dart dan menembak. Merokok menjanjikan generasi yg moron (goblok) dan sudah tentu genes bodoh akan mengikut ke generasi si perokok. Lawatan saya ke Singapore pada tahun 2005 amat memeranjatkan sekali! Di sini perokok seperti di anak tirikan dan begitu susah sekali untuk perokok, dan anda tahu berapa harga sekotak rokok? US$ 7 !!! ini bersamaan perbelanjaan sehari untuk makan anda!! Saya puji sekali sikap pemerintah Singapore dan menakjubkan sekali!!! Dan seperti Israel ianya begitu taboo dan cara pentadbiran dan segi pembelajaran mereka hampir serupa dengan Israel , maka itu saya lihat banyak institusi pelajaran mereka bertaraf dunia walaupun hakikatnya negeri Singapore hanyalah sebuah pulau sebesar Manhattan !!

Anda mungkin musykil, benarkah merokok dapat melahirkan generasi goblok? Saya telah menemui beberapa bukti menyokong teori ini. Lihat saja Indonesia, jika anda ke Jakarta, di mana saja anda berada, dari restoran, teater, kebun bunga hingga ke muzium, hidung anda akan segera terbau asap rokok! Dan harga rokok? Cuma US$ .70cts !!! dan hasilnya? Dengan penduduknya berjumlah jutaan orang berapa banyakkah universiti terdapat di sana? Hasil apakah yg dapat dibanggakan? Teknologi? Jauh sekali. Adakah mereka dapat berbahasa selain dari bahasa mereka sendiri? Mengapa mereka begitu sukar sekali menguasai bahasa Inggeris? Ditangga berapakah kedudukan mereka di pertandingan matematik sedunia? Adakah ini bukan akibat merokok? Anda fikirlah sendiri.

Di tesis saya ini, saya tidak akan menimbulkan soal ugama atau bangsa, adakah Yahudi itu zalim sehingga diusir dari semenjak zaman Paraoh hingga ke Hitler, bagi saya itu isu politik dan survival, yg ingin saya ketengahkan ialah, mampukah kita dapat melahirkan generasi yg bijak seperti Yahudi? Jawapannya ialah mungkin dan tidak mustahil dan ianya memerlukan perubahan, dari segi pemakanan dan cara mendididik anak dan saya kira hanya memerlukan 3 generasi sahaja. Ini dapat saya lihat sendiri tentang cucu saya, ini setelah saya mengajar anak saya melalui program yg telah saya nyatakan di atas tadi, pada umur 9 tahun (cucu saya) dia dapat menulis esei sepanjang 5 mukasurat penuh. Eseinya hanyalah mengenai 'Mengapa saya gemarkan tomato! ' Selamat sejahtera dan semuga kita dapat melahirkan manusia yg bijak dan bersifat mulia untuk kebaikan manusia sejagat tanpa mengenal batasan bangsa.

Penulis : Dr. Stephen Carr Leon

Di alih bahasa oleh :Adibah Mohd NoorMatriculation Lecturer, Department of SciencesUIA Matriculation Centre, Petaling Jaya, Selangor.

(Bukan menyokong Hitler, tetapi hanya untuk membuka minda kita - Admin)

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

true colour.....

hipokrit........

mmg mudah untuk melabel orang di sekeliling anda dengan perkataan ini...tapi cuma melabel tanpa melihat cerminan diri terlebih dahulu ...itu wajar atau tidak??
mungkin ada yang menganggap lebih mudah untuk menjadi hipokrit untuk menarik perhatian orang lain.....tapi tindakan anda itu betul atau tidak??
kalau anda inginkan perhatian sekali pun, perlukah anda cipta satu imej yang bukan diri anda dan canangkan kepada orang lain walaupun anda tahu lambat laun perkara tersebut bakal diketahui ramai....inilah masalah manusia....
takut untuk menjadi diri sendiri.....takut menghadapi kenyataan yang anda pun bukan sehebat mana...takut menjadi setaraf dengan orang kebanyakan....tapi...berapa besarkah anda untuk dibandingkan dengan diri orang lain?
anda juga manusia biasa...ada kemampuan yang sama dengan kami semua...cuma yang membezakan kita semua adalah usaha untuk berjaya.....
dan sekarang ini mmg terbukti usaha anda sama saja dengan kami....tidak perlu anda mahu merendahkan orang lain seperti mereka itu berada jauh di bawah kasta anda..sebab kita semua sama...kalau anda kata kami ini hina...anda juga hina....kami kenal siapa anda...
kami tahu latar belakang anda...cuma kami keliru kenapa anda bertindak bodoh lebih dari kami sangkakan.....
memang semua manusia ada kebodohan...tapi anda akan jadi lebih bodoh kalau anda sendiri cuba membodohkan orang lain dengan kebodohan anda....itu cuma menampakkan anda lebih bodoh daripada orang lain di sekeliling anda.....
mungkin anda perlu lihat kembali hidup anda....sewaktu anda memulakan penipuan anda hingga hari ini....sudah terlalu ramai yang menaruh kepercayaan kepada anda.....ada yang menganggap anda sebagai abang atau kakak yang baik, pelajar yang cemerlang, dan mungkin kawan yang setia....kalau dari segi lakonan, mungkin anda sangat berbakat melakonkan watak anda dengan baik....hingga orang disekeliling anda berjaya dimainkan perasaannya....
cuma satu perkara yang sangat tidak boleh diterima....dan yang membuatkan anda lebih hina daripada kami semua.....anda menipu dengan bermain perkataan TUHAN....
mungkin saya bukan insan yang warak untuk menilai anda dari sudut ketuhanan...tapi saya tahu batasnya kalau anda nak menipu dan berdusta sekalipun....
anda bersyukur atas pemberiannya walaupun anugerah tersebut tidak pun anda miliki...
ITU PENIPUAN
anda pernah mengadu kenapa anda diduga terlalu hebat oleh tuhan walaupun anda hanya mengadakan cerita
ITU PENIPUAN
anda kata anda tidak mahu menjaga hati orang lain lagi kerana hati anda tidak dijaga dan anda ingin tuhan membalas kepada mereka....
ITU PENIPUAN

kalau nk diceritakan tentang rencana penipuan anda mungkin terlalu panjang untuk dikarang....
tapi kebenaran itu perlu bagi anda sedari.....
"sepandai pandai tupai melompat akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga"
anda perlu sedar...walau anda pandai bermain kata, walau anda cerdik berlakon cerita, walau anda geliga merangka rencana....itu semua tidak akan kekal tersimpan....
kerana orang di sekeliling anda ada mata dan juga telinga.....
panca indera yang sangat bergunandan sangat peka.....
jadi selamat berjaya bagi anda menempuh kehidupan selepas apa yang anda rencanakan semua diketahui ramai...

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Usul Debat Piala Pengarah UiTM Melaka.....

1. sudut pidato hanya suatu sudut

2. pendidikan percuma wajar untuk semua

3. sukan antarabangsa memeinggirkan sukan tradisi

4. media masa adalah wayang kulit

5. saiz badan diperdagangkan

6. Gaji wakil rakyat wajar dinaikkan

7. ISA melindungi keselamatan rakyat

8. Penulis blog ibarat api dalam sekam.

9. Perkhidmatan Awam di Malaysia masih ditakuk lama

10. Kawalan laman sosial satu keperluan

11. Sudah tiba masanya pesalah jalanraya dihukum mati

12. “Earth hour” perlu diteruskan.

13. Demokrasi di Malaysia semakin subur


14. Sudah tiba masanya rancangan realiti televisyen diharamkan

15. Kemelut pengurusan punca sukan kita malap

16. Iklan medium terbaik menyemai semangat patriotik

17. Filem Patriotik Semakin Terpinggir

18. Ledakan ICT Melunturkan Semangat Patriotisme

19. Isu Buruh Asing : Kita Terlalu Berlembut

20. Pengurusan 3R di Malaysia: cakap tak serupa bikin.

21. Konsep 1 Malaysia bukan sekadar retorik

22. Rukun Negara hanya hafalan bukan amalan

23. Media lebih mementingkan keuntungan daripada kestabilan Negara

24. Demi kelangsungan bangsa: UMNO dan PAS wajar disatukan

25. Pendidikan tinggi di Malaysia perlukan lonjakan

26. Malaysia perlukan Britney spears

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

its heartbreaking.....=(

its really sad.....

to see the person we really care...
just broke our heart into pieces..
just in a single sentence packed with hurtful words..

i do care...
but u never see...
i do love...
but u never understand...

its really heartbreaking....
to see u just justifying thing...
without knowing the story behind...
its just hard for me...

if u never did care...
just say...
if it's just an act...
just say...

i can live with if u tell me before all these things happen...
but now....even though u did not tell me literally....
but your act......your words.....your accusation....
it shows.....

now i understand....
i'm never a something for u...
those things happen before was just for your own self satisfaction...
fine....u won...

i got nothing to say left..

Monday, July 12, 2010

indirect denial.........=(

sometimes i really dont understand certain people....they give u hope....they give u love...they show u passion....they show u interest...but at the end of the day, they are the one who slowly and gently crush it with their sweet but hurtful words....u might think this was just a game but i dont....

i took it seriously after that "incident" that really made me think that u are serious....and finally in a short while...u just made like any other dream i had before.....just a flattering, sweet, and passionate moment.....but then it just end in a very short while.....

yes..its true that i just consider ur first gesture before was just a game and ur not serious about it..but then, the moment u took my hand and tell me how much u sad when i need to go...ur tears just melt my heart down...and that moment i realised it was not an ordinary feeling..it was more than that....u really made me think that this is real....real feeling that made my life shine for a while.....

and then it was that night that really made me feel that u are my whole life...i just cant stop thinking about u after that "incident".it was really spontaneous and i dont even thought that u would treat me that much passion and intimacy....it was a very beautiful moment and i really appreciate every second of that moment....

it does not stop there...u did made my day better the following days by saying ur hello and ur wishes...i just think that it was very sweet and very meaningful for me as i never treated a person as good as i treat u before...and u were the first who made my mind full of ur images and the sweet moment we had together....

but...that was it...u make me feel like i own the world for a little moment and then u just torn it down by saying its just not the right time....i just confused with all ur sayings...u are denying me after all the hopes u gave me before....i know u did it with the gentlest way that u can...but still...it was very hard for me to take it after all the things we did together....

although it was just for a short while....u did made me smile..u made me laugh..u made me like the happiest person on earth..but most of the thing..u made me love u...i dont know whether u feel the same way towards me..but i can say u feel the same at the moment we "did" it...

it is just not the same feeling right now...all of a sudden u just consider me as a "friend" after all we did together....that just torn me up inside...but still...i dont give a damn towards it as i still treat u as the person that i love very much because i need u since the day u touched my heart...

i ignored all the things that people are talking about u...i just dont want to listen to it as in my point of view...u are not the same person that they saying....as time passed by...my perspective towards u will remain the same...

nothing in this world can ever change my feelings towards u...i'll wait as i can just for u to be with me...i'll respect ur denial and i'll bow down indicating that i'll do anything for u...but that never stops me to love u more and more...u may like someone else...but my heart is only for u...
it will always remain the same...

if u say that we were not meant to be together...then i'll not be with anybody else as i believe...my heart also is not meant for anybody else beside u....love u always.....


Thursday, July 8, 2010

andaian dan justifikasi mudah...=)

memang salah satu tabiat biasa manusia adalah membuat satu justifikasi mudah berdasarkan andaian yag tidak punya asas yang kukuh. mungkin kadang kala kita tidak pun menyedari perkara ini yang kita lakukan tapi ini memang kebenaran. kita memang sangat mudah membawa satu kesimpulan berdasarkan persepsi individu dan tidak pun melibatkan kenyataan sebenar...


bukanlah niat untuk melahirkan rasa kecewa tapi kadang kala perkara ini perlu untuk kita ambil perhatian demi kemaslahatan bersama. mungkin perkara ini kita pandang enteng dari sudut kita sebagai individu yang hanya melibatkan komuniti kecil apabila kita berbicara tentang kenalan kenalan yang dekat. tapi masalah ini ada risiko menjadi besar apabila ada kesan rantain yang berlaku.

bagaimana kesan rantaian ini berlaku??kesan ini akan berlaku apabila lidah manusia ini memainkan peranan lebih dari yang diperlukan. bukan ingin menujukan kepada sesiapa tapi kita manusia memang suka berkongsi cerita tidak kira baik mahupun buruk tanpa kita kaji apa impaknya.

bila kesan rantaian ataupun chain reaction ini berlaku, maka yang dapat kesannya adalah individu yang terlibat lah. cerita yang berbagai versi dan diragui kesahihan pun keluar menjengah dari mulut demi mulut manusia yang sangat suka berkongsi cerita. tapi persoalannya, cerita tersebut benar atau tidak.

dalam masalah ini, apa yang dikesan adalah manusia ini sangat suka pada perkara sensasi. tidak kiralah kalau cerita tersebut betul atau tidak, palsu atau benar, tipu atau hakiki, tetap akan meniti bibir sesiapa sahaja. yang penting kita ada topik perbualan yang menyeronokkan. tapi kesan akhir pada individu yang terlibat tidak pernah pun kita fikirkan sebaliknya jari telunjuk itu pasti akan dituju ke arah individu tersebut tanpa ada sikit pun keinginan untuk mencari perkara yang benar.

tidak salah untuk kita berkongsi cerita, tapi pokok pangkalnya perlulah kita ketahui terlebih dahulu. meski dalam keadaan kenalan rapat atau sesiapa sahaja ini perkara yang perlu kita titik beratkan. jangan hanya nak menunding dan terus membuat justifikasi mudah hanya berdasarkan penilaian sendiri. itu satu perkara yang tidak adil.kalau betul ingin menjadi penyampai berita ataupun kisah yang baik perlu kita dalami benar atau salah satu perkara hingga ke akar umbi agar tidak timbul konflik yang x diingini dan cerita yang disampaikan itu tepat dan benar....

tapi akhirnya, atas semua perkara ini, satu kesimpulannya adalah biarlah kita jaga tepi kain sendiri.bukan lah tepi kain orang lain.kadang kala kita sendiri tidak pun menyedari kelemahan diri.cuma yang nampak di mata kesalahan orang lain yang kita sendiri ragui kebenarannya.jadi yang perlu diingati adalah kita nilai sendiri diri sendiri sebelum kita nilai orang lain yang kita tidak kenal pun hati budinya secara total.jadi....renungkanlah......=)